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SIDS of Pennsylvania - Support Information | |||||||
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Children and Grief Stages of Grief 1. Denial, shock, protest. 2. Experiencing the reality of the loss: yearning, intense emotions, possible relief. 3. Learning to live with loss, transformation, integration. The Tasks of Mourning for the Bereaved Child 1. Experience and express outside of oneself the reality of the death. 2. Move toward the pain of the loss while being nurtured physically, emotionally and spiritually. 3. Learn to convert the relationship with the person who has died from one of interactive presence to one of appropriate memory. 4. Develop a new self identity based on life without the person who has died. 5. Relate the experience of the death to a context of meaning. 6. Experience a continued supportive and stabilizing adult presence in future years. How to Help Children Who Are Grieving 1. Give permission to grieve. 2. Facilitate expressions of grief and mourning. 3. Include in morning rituals. 4. Assist with cognitive and affective understanding and coping. 5. Assist in finding a perspective about death and loss. 6. Help to crystalize memories. 7. Assist in finding creative ways for child to express feelings. 8. Help to label feelings. 9. Provide assurance about basic needs being met. 10. Provide assurance that family will restabilize with time. 11. Assist with development of a new relationship with the 12. Alleviate guilt (always assume there is some guilt). 13. Teach children how to live with grief. 14. Facilitate communication between and adult family members. Special Issues Involved with Loss of a Sibling 1. No other relationship is so conflicted. 2. Share characteristics with the deceased. 3. Overprotection. 4. Comparisons with child who died. 5. Role changes in family. 6. Parents were unable to protect sibling who died.
Source: Dr. Alan Wolfelt
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©2006 S.I.D.S. of Pennsylvania Suite 250 Riverfront Place - 810 River Avenue - Pittsburgh, PA 15212 412-322-5680 or 800-PA1-SIDS (800-721-7437)
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